I went to a poetry reading the other day and had a very awkward conversation afterwards. This poem helped me process my embarrassment.
Awkward
After reading my poetry my heart was a mess.
Wildly beating like I was under duress.
And since getting sober I tend to avoid
Consuming things that make me paranoid.
But I didn’t consume the adrenaline in my veins,
No that one is thanks to old pains.
Reminders of when judgement was laid,
Across my tender heart they went on crusade.
My body went back to those old hurts
Sending out tiny danger alerts.
So when listening ended, and conversation began,
That’s when I realized that I had no plan.
No plan of escape, though I wanted to linger,
And make some friends with the other minglers.
So my words were messy as I stumbled along,
All of them coming out entirely wrong.
You’d think when I can rhyme like this,
My speech would generally not go amiss.
But I’ll tell you friends, that is not true,
For the awkward will continue to spew
Far beyond the pleasantries in my mind-
Wait, let’s start over, can we rewind?
So please, if I seem awkward to you
I promise my words aren't always so askew.
I’m just processing this adrenaline cocktail,
That’s really my evolution telling me to bail.